Future pull “Back to the Future” is a 1985 American science-fiction adventure comedy film where Marty McFly goes into the future to fix the present. What would happen if you could go to the future and create your better self? When people first seek therapy, they are often focused on the past and what isn’t working. Change…
During the 9/11 Terrorist’s attacks, Howard Lutnick was the CEO of Cantor Fitzgerald. When the Twin Towers collapsed, he lost his brother, his best friend and 658 of his employees. During those first tragic years, Lutnick desperately wanted to keep the company a float so he could pay the victim’s families death benefits. Amazingly, he…
In a great relationship there is RECIPROCITY and the POWER is shared. Both people’s thoughts, feelings and preferences are important. But some people are emotionally unhealthy and unable to negotiate relationships in that manner. Emotionally unhealthy partners don’t comprehend the concept of MUTUALITY because they need POWER OVER. Here are some questions…
Yet is a common English word that when used as a conjunction is equivalent to “but” or “nevertheless”. It means at a future time, in spite of a preceding event. A psychiatrist friend of mine named Betty, claimed YET was her favorite word. Betty would tell clients, “I know your story is discouraging and it’s…
Mistakes are a normal stage of growth. But too often we don’t relax and learn from our mistakes. We became paralyzed perfectionists because we don’t want to make a mistake. In a recent study two groups of students were taught random words. One group was coached and told, “Mistakes are normal and will be a…
Why Did You Do That? No one likes to be challenged about their mistakes. It is human nature to get defensive and argumentative when questioned. The brain seems to shut down with a “why” question. For example, can you remember as a child being asked a question like, “Why did you spill the milk?” Do…
Do you find yourself doubting your beauty? A recent Dove documentary shows an artist sketching with his back to women as they describe themselves. After first completion of the first sketch the artist draws the women as an acquaintance describes them. The second rendering is strikingly more attractive than the first; participants recognize they see…
Self Control When a child is out of control, parents get controlling. But this reaction does not teach your child self- regulation. In the long term, an over control style can trigger resentment or rebellion in the child and does not create an internal locus of control. The 1960’s Stanford Marshmallow Experiment has been the…
Gritty people dig deep and stick with tasks year after year. They have the passion and determination to work at their goals like a marathon and not a sprint. They have courage, resilience and character. They find success.
Clients suffering from anxiety are challenged to shift their thoughts from the future and stay in the present moment, which is a good temporary strategy. But you also need forward planning in order in ensure the best outcome.
You have to keep all three—the past, present and future in mind to avoid a life of regrets.