Are you struggling with depression or anxiety during a crisis? Extra ordinary stressors such as divorce, death or other life altering losses can throw us for a loop. Here are some tips to help your survive and eventually thrive.
1. ESTABLISH A ROUTINE: If you create patterns it will help your life feel more normal. Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as fun.
2. GOOD PERSONAL HYGIENE: Dress for the day. Get showered, wear comfortable clothes, wash your face, brush your teeth. Take the time to do a bath or a facial. Put on some bright colors. It is amazing how what we wear affects our mood.
3. GET SUNSHINE: Leave the house at least once a day, for at least 30 minutes. If you can’t get out, open the window and turn on a fan. Mom was right, fresh air lifts the spirits.
4. MOVE: Put on your favorite music and rock out or find a dance class or yoga class online. Move for at least 30 minutes a day. Engage in repetitive movements and left-right movements. Research has shown that repetitive movement (knitting, coloring, painting, clay sculpting, jump roping etc.) especially left-right movement (running, drumming, skating, hopping) can be effective at self-soothing and maintaining self-regulation in moments of distress.
5. CONNECT: Reach out to others, you guessed it, at least once daily for 30 minutes. Try to do FaceTime, Skype, phone calls, texting—connect with other people to seek and provide support.
6. SELF CARE: drink water and eat nutritious food. During times of stress it is common to over-indulging, forget to eat, or avoiding food. Drink plenty of water, eat some good and nutritious foods, and challenge yourself to learn how to cook something new! A lot of successful self-care strategies involve the 5 senses: touch, taste, sight, hearing, smell. An idea for each: a soft blanket or stuffed animal, a hot chocolate, photos of vacations, comforting music, lavender or eucalyptus oil, a small swing or rocking chair, a weighted blanket. A journal, an inspirational book, or coloring book, Mint gum, Listerine strips, ginger ale, frozen Starburst, ice packs, and cold are also good for anxiety regulation. Put together a personal tool kit.
7. EXTEND GOOD WILL: People under stress and may not be using their best social graces. Don’t attend every agreement you are invited to, move with grace through blow ups, don’t hold grudges or disagreements. Learn how to respond well when someone hurts your feelings.
8. SAFE PLACE: Find a retreat place. Some place you can be alone and feel comfortable. You may need to take a drive, go sit in your car, or walk in nature.
9. PRACTICE RADICAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE: Accept everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or pushback.
10. LIMIT MEDIA: The news information is often sensationalized, negatively skewed, and alarmist. Find a few trusted sources that you can check in with consistently, limit it to a few times a day for a few minutes.
11. NOTICE THE GOOD: As Mr. Rogers said, “Look for the helpers in every crisis.” There are many stories of people sacrificing, donating, and supporting one another in miraculous ways. It is important to counterbalance the heavy information with the hopeful information.
12. SERVE: Find ways, big and small, to give back to others. Write letters of gratitude to loved ones. Write thank you notes teachers from your past. Check in with elderly neighbors—helping others gives us a sense of agency when things seem out of control.
13. CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN: In moments of big uncertainty and overwhelm, control your little corner of the world. Organize your bookshelf, purge your closet, put together that furniture, group your toys. It helps to anchor and ground us when the bigger things are chaotic.
14. LEARN SOMEHTHING NEW: Find a long-term project to dive into. Now is the time to learn how to play the keyboard, put together a huge jigsaw puzzle, start a 15 hour game of Risk, paint a picture, read the Harry Potter series, binge watch an 8-season show, crochet a blanket, solve a Rubik cube, or develop a new town in Animal Crossing. Find something that will keep you busy, distracted, and engaged to take breaks from what is going on in the outside world.
Our emotional brain is very receptive to the creative arts, and it is a direct portal for release of feeling. Find something that is creative (sculpting, drawing, dancing, music, singing, playing) and give it your all. See how relieved you can feel. It is a very effective way of helping kids to emote and communicate as well!
15. LAUGH: Find lightness and humor in each day. Counterbalance heaviness with something funny each day: cat videos on YouTube, a stand-up show on Netflix, a funny movie—we all need a little comedic relief in our day, every day. Looks for the unexpected and be surprised.
16. ASK FOR HELP: If you are having difficulty coping, seek out help. There are mental health people ready to help you through a crisis. If prescribed, keep up medications and attend your therapy sessions.
17. PRACTICE CONTAINMENT: take it moment by moment. No one knows what the problem will look like in 1 day, 1 week, or 1 month from now. Live one day at a time. Looking at the future too often is borrowing trouble. Read more here.
18.THIS TOO SHALL PASS: Remind yourself daily that this is temporary. Remind yourself that although this is very scary and difficult and will go on for an undetermined amount of time, it is a season of life and it will pass. You will return to feeing free, safe, busy, and connected in the days ahead.
19. FIND THE LESSON: A key to working through trauma is to find meaning. What can you learn here from this crisis? What needs to change in ourselves, our homes, our communities and our world? How can we personally be better prepared?
CAMILLE CURTIS FOSTER LCSW
Please like my Facebook page
Another helpful article on the value of nature and stress: https://provocounselingcenter.net/manage-stress-by-playing-outside-mom-was-right/
Tips to helping children calm down and self regulate here.
