A Guest Editorial from Calliope Scott
As someone who has struggled since age 10 with suicidal ideation and behaviors, I know that it’s dang hard in those painful, desperate moments to remember there is hope, or that there are people who care about me. I’ve been revived in the ER or held in ICU on a mandatory hold many times. I have children now, and I live in fear that I will be a statistic, and so will they. Please take time to understand the nature of not only bipolar disorder and depression but addiction and the changes to the dopaminergic system in the brain as well; oftentimes there is more to suicide than just having or not having ‘mental strength’.
Proper help is hard to find, even with all of the money in the world, because there is much about the brain we still do not understand. Medications can help some, but have you read the side effects? Main complaint is increased depression and suicidal thoughts. I know that oftentimes when I feel miserable, worthless, and hopeless, I am afraid to go talk to a professional about it because I worry that DHS will try to say I am unstable and not fit to be around my children, which I know is not true, but when I am in that state, logic sometimes fails me.
I worry that because my university has a rule about suicide attempts/threats I will be kicked out for having these thoughts and not being able to control them. Many who suffer silently are afraid to seek help, because there is an attitude toward people who struggle with depression and other mental ailments that they, for some reason, are just weak minded and could ‘get over it’ if they put their mind to it. Many turn to substances as a way to escape (however temporary it is) the symptoms. Over time there is a complete loss of control, and those individuals can spend a lifetime trying to regain it.
I spent 16 years of my life seeking an alternate reality because being drunk and high felt much better to my soul than living in my true reality. I’ve lost many friends and even a few family members to suicide and unintentional drug overdose, so I must say I am quite emotionally invested in suicide prevention programs and outreach. I got into my fields of study because I want to see real change.
If you have friends who struggle with addiction or mental illness, encourage them to talk about it. If you can’t do so without judgment or coming from a place of love and understanding, try to get to that place. There are resources to help friends and loved ones understand how to be there for someone who is struggling. If you can’t find them, I can help you. C.S.
A ballad from Lewis Capadi talks about the suicide of his aunt and the family emotions afterward. Look it up on Youtube.
(Note from Camille)
If you are anyone you know expresses hopelessness or shows depression warning signs please reach out to a professional counselor, hot line or local hospital. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. A great link:
CAMILLE CURTIS FOSTER LCSW
