6 Steps To Help The Change Process

Discouraged: Disheartened, dampen, dispirited, overwhelmed, unmotivated.

The change process is difficult
Many times clients get discouraged with the journey of change. Be it losing weight, staying sober, fighting depression or numerous other issues, everyone starts off with enthusiasm and confidence but mid-way they lose stamina and contemplate quitting. Indeed, the change process can be overwhelming. Here are six steps to help with change.

1. Announce The Goal

If you write down your goal or tell others, it reinforces your commitment and helps you set a mental contract with yourself.

2. Visualize The Rewards Of Success

I asked clients to imagine walking up a long winding path through many high trails. Up ahead they can only see more and more hills to climb with no end in sight. At this point when I ask how they feel about the journey they use words like ” overwhelmed, discouraged, intimidated. Then we shift and visualize what the view looks like once they have arrive at the top of the mountain. We process how their lives will be affected by the change and the rewards awaiting. The mood shifts. It is much easier to find motivation when you can see the results of persevering.

3. Baby Steps For Success

Take one brave step at a time. I had a chance to apply the principle of baby steps during a ski trip with my husband. We were skiing the Schilthorn in Switzerland. (The Schilthorn run is shown in a James Bond movie and start for the world’s longes downhill ski race called the “Inferno.”) Confidently I climbed out of the cable car. I glanced down at the steepest slope I have ever seen in my life. My first impulse was to give up. But my kindly my husband said to me, “Don’t look at the whole hill at once. Do you see that tree about 25 feet away. Can you ski to that?” I nodded, “Yes, I can.” He skied with me to that spot and then we found another small mound to ski to and so on until I was down the hill. and that is the way I got down the hill.

A mountain climber doesn’t look at the far distance goal, they hike to the nearest landmark and concentrate on arriving there. “How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time. If you are 100 pounds overweight focus on eating small proportions for one meal. Stay sober one day at a time. Fight depression by doing one hard thing each day. This works because of how our brain is wired.

Understand Your Brain Chemistry

Monica Mehta says,

“….with each small success, our brain releases a chemical called dopamine. When dopamine flows into the brain’s reward pathway (the part responsible for pleasure, learning and motivation), we not only feel greater concentration but are inspired to re-experience the activity that caused the chemical release in the first place.

Understand how your brain is wired—progression comes from small actions every day.

4. Recognize 1% better gets results

Michael A. Dunn, citing the research of James Clear wrote:

For more than a century, the national bicycle racing teams of Great Britain had been the laughingstock of the cycling world. So sorry was the plight of British riders that some bike manufacturers refused to even sell bikes to the Brits, fearing it would forever sully their hard-won reputations. And despite devoting enormous resources into cutting-edge technology and every newfangled training regimen, nothing worked.

Nothing, that is, until 2003, when a small, largely unnoticed change occurred that would forever alter the trajectory of British cycling. So what happened in British cycling?

In 2003, Sir Dave Brailsford was hired. Unlike previous coaches who attempted dramatic, overnight turnarounds, Brailsford used a strategy referred to as “the aggregation of marginal gains”. He maintains that “habits are the ‘compound interest of self-improvement.’ If you can get just one percent better at something each day, by the end of a year … you will be 37 times better.”

Using this principle and making small incremental changes, the team turned around. At the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, just five years after Brailsford took over, the British Cycling team dominated the road and track cycling events. They won 60 percent of the gold medals available. Four years later, when the Olympic Games came to London, the Brits raised the bar as they set nine Olympic records and seven world records.

If you make a 1% change how would that look?

5. Be Open To Changing Your Approach

When you feel defeated, change your method or system instead of giving up. A seasoned hiker walks backward up a hill using different muscles until they have the strength to walk forward again. Sometimes we have to change our pattern to keep moving. A client was discouraged because her father repeatedly made comments that hurt her feelings. Usually she tried to shrug off his slights but the strategy wasn’t working long term. She felt trapped in their relationship pattern. When she changed her approach and told her dad about the incidents, his surprised comment was, “I didn’t know this hurt your feelings, I am sorry.” Together they talked about how to achieve openness in their interactions.

5. Remember The Goal Is Closer Than It Seems

The change process is slow and almost imperceivable to the untrained eye much like watching the growth of a plant. You can’t see a plant grow unless you are watching the process with the perspective of time lapsed photography. It is normal for the process to feel like 2 steps forward, one set backward. If you focused on what HAS NOT been accomplished, the goal will feel unattainable.

A discouraged client is usually looking ahead and seeing how long and lengthy the journey is. Instead, of focusing forward on the future, I suggest they turn around and look BACK into the past. For example, clients are surprised when they look at anxiety inventories they took as a new client. Their change was so slow, they hadn’t recognized it.

6. Recognize Relapse Is Not A Disaster

Robert Brault quipped, “Taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s cha-cha!” So during in the change process—expect relapses. You can 2 steps forward and one step backward and you have still made progress—just don’t give up! Change happens slowly almost imperceptibly. Believe in the process. Focus on your growth and not your mistakes. Try again. You can change.